“Close, loving and happy.”
That is how Suncare customer John Crossley describes the life he and wife Nancy have shared for the past 70 years.
And what a full and adventurous life it has been for the pair.
From countless overseas trips to quirky business ventures, John believes he would not have done half of what he has without his beloved ‘Nan’ in his corner.
John, who is quickly approaching his 92nd birthday, still does not let life pass him by.
An avid golfer and gardener, John gets in-home physiotherapy and domestic assistance from Suncare once a week as well as a nurse’s visit each month.
Still an active grandfather of four and great-grandfather of seven, he is now grappling with the reality of having to do a lot of this alone.
For the past 10 years, Nan’s health has been in constant decline.
Taking a fall while visiting Tasmania, Nan suffered a bleed to the brain.
Through multiple seizures, a heart attack and stroke, John has spent the past eight years as Nan’s full-time carer.
After some time, Nan was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and Dementia.
Soon, everyday tasks became harder and memories of the life she and John had shared became few and far between.
It was then, about 12 months ago, John made a heartbreaking decision to enter the love of his love into a nearby aged care facility.
Battling feelings of guilt brought on by the decision, John remains as dedicated as ever to Nan, visiting her every day.
And thanks to Nan’s meticulous diary keeping throughout her life, John reads excerpts of their years spent together, in the hope of sparking memories.
A heartwarming, Notebook-inspired story of devotion, John hopes his struggle might inspire someone else facing a similar situation.
“It was love at first sight”
Married in 1956, John and Nan were the apple of one another’s eye from day one.
“I worked in Brisbane and would travel back and forward to Nan in Bundaberg every few weekends” John explained.
“It was a trip that took eight hours.”
Transferring to Mackay for work, John would then make the long trip south to visit his wife.
Soon enough, Nan joined John in Mackay, and the couple welcomed their first child – a daughter named Jann.
A few years went by, and John and Nan returned to Bundaberg.
It was not long before the couple became heavily involved in the community, with young Jann and now a son, Cameron, in tow.
“I joined the Bundaberg Lions Club in 1964, which I’m still a member of, and we started Meals on Wheels there in 1966,” John said.
Not long after, John, with the help of the Lions Club members, volunteer tradesmen and others established a building for people suffering with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) and asthma.
Named The Bundaberg Activity Therapy Centre, it was constructed in the late 1970s “completely debt-free”.
“We’ve always been proactive,” John said.
Growing family, growing ambitions
Leaving Bundaberg in 1979, John and Nan built their dream home in the sleepy hills of Eumundi.
“We built our house in Eumundi on a beautiful one-and-a-half-acre block,” John said.
“We had birds, kangaroos and even koalas [on the property].
“Nan had a wonderful garden there. She had her own pottery studio and started patchwork when the grandkids started arriving.
“She loved going to Western Australia and often spent time searching for the wildflowers and native orchids with myself and our close friends.”
Life certainly did not slow down for the couple, with John’s career taking many twists and turns.
From working in a bank to part-ownership of a florist, time spent as a farmhand, a financial manager for large corporations, to running the biggest accounting practice in Noosa at one stage.
For his many services to the communities of both Bundaberg and Noosa, John received the medal of the Order of Australia in 2006.
“She was a terrific back-up. I had to make some really hard decisions in life, and we always used to talk it over,” John said.
“She used to say, ‘John if you think it is the right thing, we will do it and I will support you’.”
With later years spent hosting international students, including their ‘adopted’ son Shinsuke Harima from Japan, John and Nan also spent their fair of time abroad.
“We have been all around the world – Honolulu, Vancouver, The Rocky Mountains,” John said.
“We went up to see the Northern Lights, Niagra Falls, London, Scotland, Ireland and then flew to Nairobi and did a safari. We even stopped along the way to see the Singapore Aquarium which our architect son Cam designed.
“Nan kept a diary through all our trips and every day of her life.”
A “wonderful life” unable to be remembered
There is no denying the exciting life John and Nan have led throughout their seven decades together.
But for John, he is riddled with guilt when remembering their “happy days.”
“I can remember and enjoy all of it, and she cannot,” he said.
“It [Alzheimer’s and Dementia] is a terrible disease. It really is.
“But I keep telling myself, you are not the only one John.”
John’s hope to inspire
Facing the “good and bad times” brought on by Nan’s declining condition, John hopes his story can show others facing a similar battle that they are not alone.
Reading a different diary entry to Nan upon every visit, the couple revisit their colourful life and countless adventures.
“I hold her hand and read it. She just smiles, and that is enough for me,” John said.
“Even if she cannot remember, it is still a nice story she enjoys.
“It calms her down.”
